The strom outside was terrable, the cracks of thunder and the flash of lighting was like Thor's work of rage. I nside one of the village home is our main charter Drac.
"Wake up please, wake up!"
Drac awaken only to find he's mother in a panic (he is only 9).
"Mommy what's going on?"
"The strom outside has gotten worse, your father went out with the other men to see if they can stop the dam from busting."
Drac jumps out of bed.
"What, you the big dam that's right above the village?!"
Drac grabs he's mother's arm and pulls her to come with him but his mother stops him. She bends down to Drac and give him a big hug and place a lather hat on him.
"Mommy can't come with you to safety, she has to help Daddy.... Go to the plaza its safe their:cry "
"B....But Mommy? "
Drac's Mother open the door a pushes him out.
Outside you can hardly see, the rain prure down non stop, the wind blew almost blowing Drac away. Then Drac heard a sound from behind his house.
Behind his house was Ty his childhood friend, trying to pull a box of his belongings out of the mud.
"Come on move ya pice of junk!"
"Ty leave your stuff the dam is going to burst we need to get to the plaza!"
"You know y'all got a point."
Ty drop the stuff and follow Drac, they stoped in there tracks after hearing a girl crying.
"Y'all hears that its coming from behind the bushes."
Drac walked over to the bushes and foundKira a girl Drac knows.
"Please help me I need to find my big brother.:cry "
"What happen?"
"We were both playing hide and seek but this strom came out of no where and we both got lost."
"Y'alls big bro. might be down at the plaza."
"Yeah, it safer down there come with us."
"o-okay"
Fianlly Drac, Ty and Kira made it down to the Plaza.
"I-I don't see my brother here anywhere:cry "
"He might still be in the village some where"
"We have to go get him!"
But before Drac and the others could go back one of the village people grabed Kira.
"What are you kid s doing, you need to get to the safety shelter."
"Drac, Ty go on without me find my big brther Tack!
"Y'alls got it!"
Drac and Ty ran off in the village looking for Kira's brother, but suddenly they hear a loud ear splitting crash.
"What was that?!"
"THAT WAS THE DAM BRAEKING!!"
Tons amounts of water crash and splash down onto the village leaving nothing but distrution but the plaza remain unharm.
When Drac fianlly awoke he was soak to the bone and there wasn't a clound in the sky.
"Ty are you okay?"
But Ty was nowhere to be found, suddenlly Drac hear a covertion far off he follow the voices utill he saw a strange looking man and a strange looking eoman talking.
"Who could of thoght that tripping that trap could have made that terrable strom."
"Yeah, who would have thought."
"Drac is that you buddy, where y'alls at?!"
"Who was that, that person might've heard us."
"We need to get rid of that person!"
The two stranger ran off towards Ty.
"They were the ones who cause the dam to brake and now they're going to kill Ty, I need to hurry."
Drac runs off towards them. The two strangers got Ty corner.
"You live him alone!"
Drac jump in to protect Ty. The strange woman grabed Drac.
"Hmmm, this one is diffrent he would make a nice pet "
The strange woman bit Drac on the neck.

Hey every one replie to me tell me how my story is and how i can inprove it, add some thread to this bad boy.

Tweet

wow...lots of mistakes um tell you what take it and run it through a spell check on word or something, then try improving your grammer a lot and work on which prospective you want your story to be in, from the looks of it you have 1st 2nd and 3rd person all in one story here. pick only one to keep people from getting confused. next take out the colors. yeah they help people see who is talking, but in order for it to be a little more well written the colors have to go.try actualy saying who is talking rather then using a diffrent color everytime that person speaks. Thats pretty much all i can pick out right now. keep at it .

Wow, your right but this is for an opening for a comic i'm thinking about making.

oh ok well then it looks pretty good rather then the spelling and grammer.

Spell check is for me then.